We always talk about Drug and Behavioural addiction, but rarely do we talk about Emotional addiction.
Like drugs, Emotional Addiction comes through when one becomes dependent on emotional experiences or the brain’s chemical reactions to specific feelings for instance; cortisol in case of anxiety or adrenaline in case of drama.
We crave a loop of neurotransmitters like dopamine (pleasure chemical) and cortisol (stress hormones).
There is a craving for certain emotional experiences and states.
The addiction can be to positive or negative emotions.
In pop psychology, the emotional highs that transcend the normal baseline are referred to as ‘hit emotions ‘.
1. Addiction to Positive Emotions.
This is one that most people are familiar with. We pursue positive emotional states such as euphoria, excitement and joy for dopamine.
Dopamine is released by the brain reward system reinforcing the situations that generate these feelings.
For instance; Extreme sports for thrill seekers , social media scrolling, gambling, shopping, gambling etc.
It’s a cycle of constant search for an emotional high and a repeat.
2. Addiction to Negative Emotions .
This is less discussed despite being common.
We are addicted to stress hormones and negative emotions eg; anger, sadness or frustrations.
Persistent exposure to these negative emotions make them familiar to the brain. And what is familiar is more safer to the brain to what is unfamiliar even though the familiar means chaos.
Author Nicole Le Pelera claims that exposure to stressful situations makes the body’s chemical response to stress (which includes the release of certain neurotransmitters, or hormones) to create a felt experience of stress in our bodies. The spikes of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline can feel very intense. And when our body is accustomed to experiencing a stress response, we may unconsciously begin to seek out situations or experiences that continue this internal biochemical rush hence becoming stuck in our own emotional addiction cycle.
Without these emotions, we feel bored, listless, unmotivated, or in need of stimulation when nothing is happening. A reason many are drawn to gossip, drama, unpredictable relationships, or entertainment full of adrenaline rushes.
The individual addicted to anger seeks out arguments to satisfy his/her cravings.
Atleast we are feeling an emotional high even though it’s negative.
Authors like Dr Joe Dispenza (2012) popularized the concept of “emotional addiction” by detailing how individuals lean on stress environments to unconsciously reaffirm familiar hormonal levels. We seek out jobs, partners, news, environments etc that make us experience these emotions.
So we can state that Emotions can act as recruitment agencies.
Signs to Addiction to Emotional Addiction.Â
• Discomfort with stability or calm states hence seeking out news, fights, gossiping, sex etc.
• Chasing Extremes either positive or negative eg; by creating problems, seeking pleasure etc.
• Dependency on others for validation as a form of outsourcing emotional needs from outside.
• Magnified Emotional Reactions to small events eg; yelling at a smaller mistake by a kid.
• Obsessive thoughts about a person or situations. Always thinking about the worst case scenarios ppr fantasies.
Causes to Emotional Addiction.
• Offers relief from Pain and inner void ie; we seek certain emotional experiences for comfort, release, reassurance, distraction or escapism from our own inner Turmoil.
• Childhood Conditioning eg; children who only experienced care and attention during the times of distress eg; when sick come to associate negative emotions with care and attention hence crave them later eg; addiction to feeling of frustrations and hence seeking abusive partners and hence complaining to earn sympathy. Individuals with a victim complex are prone to this. In relationships we can call them the drama kings and queens.
• Early life Experiences for instance; Individuals who grew up in chaotic, unpredictability and unsafe environments come to associate these Emotional states with familiarity. The brain equates high intensity with familiarity and hence Safety. Calmness may feel foreign, suspicious or foreign.
• Familiarity Trap. Constant exposure to an emotion whether positive or negative makes the brain to associate it with familiarity. When they become familiar, the brain seeks circumstances, people or situations that will make us feel those emotions. It’s a reason why an individual addicted to frustration runs towards a Tv remote to watch tragic news eg of Death. The young girl addicted to chaos in her romantic relationships seek out men who provide her such situations and pushes away good ones. They’re boring.
• Trauma. A negative experience may see one seek hit emotions to neutralize pain . The emotions becomes a way of offering comfort.
Managing Emotional Addictions.Â
There are various ways;
1. Awareness – Being aware is the first step to any form of a psychological transformation. Become aware of triggers, emotional situations we are attracted and even, if any, any restlessness we might feel when life becomes stable and calm.
2. Substraction. Here we’re subtracting stimulus that make us feel these intense emotions. This may be , for instance; reducing time spend on social media, cutting off toxic relationships and behavioural patterns that feed us these emotions such as arguments or gossiping.
3. Rewire your nervous system to feel comfortable with calmness and peace. When our nervous system is wired to associate emotional highs with Familiarity and safety, Calmness and peace feel foreign, strange and boring. We have to train it through somatic and cognitive approaches.
References.
1. Alcaro, A., & Panksepp, J. (2014). The SEEKING system and addictions: An affective neuroscience perspective. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 8, 609467. doi.org
2. American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596
3. Charland, L. C. (2002). Cynthia’s dilemma: Consenting to heroin prescription. American Journal of Bioethics, 2(2), 37–47. doi.org
4. Dispenza, J. (2012). Breaking the habit of being yourself: How to lose your mind and create a new one. Hay House.
5. Karim, R., & Chaudhri, P. (2012). Behavioral addictions: An overview. Journal of Psychoactive Drugs, 44(1), 5–17. doi.org
6. Koob, G. F. (2015). The dark side of emotion: The addiction perspective. European Journal of Pharmacology, 753, 73–87. doi.org
7. Maté, G. (2010). In the realm of hungry ghosts: Close encounters with addiction. North Atlantic Books.
8. McCrea, J. (n.d.). Addicted to emotions? Jessica McCrea, Psy.D. Clinical Psychology. https://jessicamccrea.com/addicted-to-emotions
9. Nelson, S. E. (Eds.). (2012). APA addiction syndrome handbook: Vol. 1. Foundations, influences, and expressions of addiction. American Psychological Association. doi.org
10. Yau, Y. H., & Potenza, M. N. (2015). Functional neuroimaging of behavioral addictions. The Lancet Psychiatry, 2(2), 179–188. doi.org