Most contemporary figures argued against the idea of being too nice in a world filled with masks. Placidly go amid the noise one wiseman would say and remember what trickery harbours the world…
Nicollo Machiavelli believed that being too nice was dangerous for survival and success as expressed in his 1513 work The Prince Ie;
“Any man who tries to be good all the time is bound to come to ruin among the great number who are not good. Hence a prince who wants to keep his authority must learn how not to be good, and use that knowledge, or refrain from using it, as necessity requires.”
This isn’t an advocacy of avoiding being nice. It’s good to be nice , to be good. But being too much good consistently even in situations that requires different reactions can be dangerous.
One has to learn how to and not to be Good. One has to learn how to and not to be bad.
Sadly the Too nice people never know how to be bad when situation demands.
Too nice people smile when there boundaries are being violated.
Too nice people tolerate environments that treats them like garbages.
Too nice people, borrowing from Robert Greene’s words, recite poetry to those armed with swords.
Too nice people do everything to keep peace when their heart is raging with turmoil.
Many people see Machiavelli as someone evil or whose work was evil but the phrase can be applied in self-help industries and even mental health professionals.
For many of us, being too nice was a virtue that was highly praised. The little nice boy and little nice girl grows up as a humble pie for if it worked in childhood then it must work in adulthood – we believe.
So we grew up as doormats, with no boundaries, prioritizing others needs over ours.
We feel Guilty anytime we want to express how we feel or set boundaries.
We feel guilty for saying no!
We feel Guilty for cutting off unhealthy connection!
But this comes at a cost… Doormats in our dark world aren’t rewarded with praise as we were in childhood… People pleasers gets used… The too nice people are never taken too serious.
Also, too nice people rarely attain success because they’ve been taught to take a second seat and leave the first for others. They’ve been taught to shrink their voices to make others feel comfortable.
Don’t be too nice at least be nice but not too Nice at the expense of your needs, voice, boundaries, potential, dreams, Safety or survival.