Siblings form one of the longest relationships in an individual’s life. By sibling we do not only mean biological brothers and sisters but also Step-brothers and Step-Sisters.Â
It’s however a question whether we should involve Peers in this.
The quality of relationships to one’s sibling forms a blueprint for dynamics that are carried out to adult lives playing a major role in Social groups, work and even romantic pursuits.
This might be ;
Competitive or CooperativeÂ
Admiration and Envy
Hierarchy and PartnershipÂ
Aggressive vs Intimate.
Despite being the oldest relationship spanning from childhood to old age, few scientist have however paid attention to it.
1. Birth Order Effect
One Alfred Alder, one of the stubborn students of Sigmund Freud was one of the Contemporary figures who explored the siblings dynamic and it’s effect in adulthood. According to Alfred Adler, among the factors that influence one’s life is the order of birth in a familly. That the position one occupies in a family might have an impact on how he behaves, makes decisions and treat others.
For instance; First borns might be orderly and caring. Second borns on the other hand tend to be competitive while last borns might either be stubborn, selfish or spoiled lazy brats.
But Adler’s assertions have met resistance from Modern Psychologists who claim that the birth order of the kid has little impact on an individual’s personality.
According to a number of studies that were looked by the National Academy of Sciences, there was a little to no association of birth order on personality. The firstborn child is not necessarily the achiever or the middle the peacemaker.
2. Rivalry Effect.
It’s normal for siblings to have conflicts and even compete for attention, physical material things and even parent’s warmth. This pattern however carries up into adulthood where through regression, one finds himself treating his peer as competitors at work place or home environment.
This might lead to what many define as the Crabs in a bucket syndrome. Having more reminds them of when their parents gave more attention to their sibling hence envy. But it’s unconscious.
3. Favoritism.
Sometimes parents have a tendency to favour one kid over the others. This might stir jealousy among the other kids who feel neglected.
For instance; In the bible where Joseph was loved by the Parents, we see his brothers plotting a trap to murder him.
4. The Birth of another Sibling.
Sometimes the birth of another sibling especially a second birth has a huge impact on the current prince. Who would feel calm and okay when all the attention that has to be his to enjoy and warmth that has been favoured upon her goes to a new Prince?
Author and Social Psychology expert Robert Greene claims that the birth of a new siblings in some case cause a traumatic wound that is tethered with a feeling of abandonment. The kid grows up fearing abandonment not being aware how this was caused in childhood.
5. Identification with the Siblings.
Sometimes children have a tendency to imitate their Brothers and sisters behaviour whether positive or negative. If the older brother engages in harmful behaviours such as Smoking and Alcohol taking, the younger sibling might out of imitation also take drugs.
Older siblings may also directly recruit the younger ones into some behaviours.
6. The Gender.
Gender can sometimes affect the development of a kid for instance when one is born with all siblings of the opposite gender for instance; A male in house of girls or a Girl in house of boys. According to psychologist Alfred Adler, Such familly tend to have a negative dynamic especially where the child in question isn’t the old one. For instance; Boys raised in such circumstances and were bullied might have grown up feeling like being the only boy was the cause. Girls too may develop rebellious attitude especially if dominated and controlled by the feminine.
In General, Brother and sister relationship has an impact on the personalities and world views of individuals. Whether positive, ambivalent or negative. We project these dynamics to our peers eg; at school or in work places. The kid who saw his siblings as competitors might through a regressive projection see his workers as competitors,, the young sibling who had a tendency to report and snitch her siblings to the parents might be the Student or colleague who snitch his colleagues to Parents. The Parentified kid who could look on the welfare of other kids when parents were not present becomes the adult who cares about the welfare of his colleagues.
And just to answer our question about The sibling complex we shall say we have some feeling tones and images formed out of our experiences with our siblings. These feelings tones, beliefs and emotions though unconscious in nature still play a role in our habits, decisions or behaviours.