The types of Fathers in Homes/Families.
1. The abusive Father.
This may be the type of a father who physically, emotionally or Sexually harms his children. Angry and explosive fathers belong to this category not forgetting those who sexually shame their children.
2. The Controller.
He’s like the micromanager who wants to wield power over his children’s life… He wants to dictate every aspect of the child’s life not regarding their independence or even needs. This may make it difficult for the child to make decisions on his own later in life. He’s domineering in nature. The domineering father raises a son who either grows up timid and insecure or an overt comtroller like the father. The daughter on the other hand might be attracted to domineering partners later in life.
3. Dismissive Father.
He dismisses his children’s needs. They matter less. Any voice back to what he has done or not done might be brushed away with a shut up;
‘kids are there to listen not to be heard ‘
4. The Authorization Father
He is strict and operates on strict rules and expectations. His primar method of parenting is through discipline and punishment. Though he might raised obidient kids, they may grow up resentful with suppressed anger that might have a negative effect on their mental health.
5. The Narcissistic Father.
They thrive on seeking validation & admiration. They’re self absorbed and sometimes manipulate their children just to make their needs met. These type of fathers might be kind to strangers but evil to their famillies . They’re people pleasers and angels in social spaces but devils in private.
6. The Overindulgant Father.
This are the spoiling fathers who excessively grant their Childrens wishes and desires. This results to spoiled kids who grow up with unrealistic expectations of everything falling straight to their laps.
7. The Dependent Father.
Traditionally, Father are often seen as the primary Providers but this might be untrue in some sense where fathers depend on their children to take up roles they themselves should jave taken. For instance; Taking control of family finances, educating sibling and even hustling to feed family. This leads to Parentified kids who feel frustrated with the role they have to play. The kids also grow believing that their needs don’t matter and the only way out is to meet other people’s needs.
8. The Absent Father.
He’s not physically or emotionally available for his children.
The physically absent father abandons his children and responsibilities. Kids grow on their own feeling abandoned hence internalize negative core beliefs about themselves “I’m unworthy of love”. “Love means being abandoned”. This haunts them to adulthood where they find themselves afraid of abandonment leading them to become clingy in relationships or even abandon their partners before they’re abandoned. Girls grow up mistrusting men.
The emotionally Unavailable father on the other hand might be physically present but emotionally cold. He finds it hard to to express affection to his kids. This equally makes kids feel unloved and neglected. They may internalize negative core beliefs about themselves and men in general for instance; “I’m unlovable”.
9. The Enabling Father
He might be quite contrary to the authoritarian father. He might enable irresponsible Behaviours in his kids by shielding them away from the consequences of his actions.
10. The Perfectionists Father.
Everything must be perfect and in order. He might set high expectations for his kids which might be unattainable for them at their age. Any imperfection is criticized or rebuked. This in turn kills the children’s morale… They fear criticism and may later in life become perfectionists. The kids might later in life have a feeling of inadequacy that doesn’t go away.
11. The Affectionate Father.
The daddy who through his actions shows how deeply cares for his kids. Unlike the emotionally Unavailable father, the Affectionate father constantly expresses affection to his kids.
12. The Providing/Responsible Father.
He provides and protects the needs of his family. On a scale, the providing father might be between the overindulgant father and the dependent father. He provides, he doesn’t over-provide… He provides,, he doesn’t depend on his kids. He fullfils his responsibilities as a father effectively and protects them.
References
1. Adler, A. (1931). What life should mean to you. Little, Brown. (Original work published 1931))
2. Schwartz, S. E. (2020). The absent father effect on daughters: Father desire, father wounds
3. (2019) Support for Fathers national survey. Melbourne: Relationships Australia Victoria