The Narcissistic Mother is one that was emotionally mature enough to meet her child’s needs. What mattered more was her own needs and how she was being perceived. The image was everything.
The level of self absorption she has makes it difficult to have good emotional regulation skills, comfort resolution skills or able to consider her child’s needs. With a low self-esteem, she sees her children as an extension of herself.
The concealed shame she still carry and feelings pf inadequacy she has makes her project them to his children by being critical and demanding. She’s the bully to the children, an image that’s quite contrary to that which she shows in public.
We hear common Phrases such as; “You’re too sensitive or dramatic”Â
“You’ll regret this when I’m gone”
“After all I did for you?”
“You’re remembering it wrong”Â
“You’re too fat”
The Narcissistic Mother never apologizes, is never empathetic , rarely encourages her children or expresses belief in their capability and may find it hard to voice up anything positive in her children.
With time , children learn that expressing their emotions or how they feel won’t matter.
Later they develop a low self worth, Body image issues, Fear of being perceived, People pleasing behaviours, working or achieving for love ie; belief that love has to be earned.
They perform or work for love for they were never loved for who they were but how they made their mothers feel.
The children to narcissistic mothers learnt at an early age to neglect their own needs for other’s sake. Everything revolved around the narcissistic mother and how they made her feel. Growing up they carry this pattern to adulthood.
The Narcissistic causes a sense of mistrust that is projected to other women by the children in the society.
Constant critscism from the narcissistic mother later show up as negative self talk andi inner critic.Â