The Mother Complex Definition, Cause and Effects

The mother archetype is a universal theme across all cultures in the world.

The mother being the closest attachment figure to any individual and has a strong impact on an individual’s life.

The mother-child relation forms a strong template and foundation on how the child in question views then world and handles the challenges that await.

What’s a Complex?  

A complex is like a knot or a cluster or feelings, beliefs, wishes, memories and ideas concerning a particular theme.

In this case, our underlying theme is the mother.

The mother Complex Definition

From our earlier definition, we can hence define the mother complex as a group of feelings, beliefs and ideas based on the experiences we had with and the image we have of this senior maternal figure.

Present in both males and females, the mother complex can affect individual’s personality, behaviours, self worth and even perceptions.

Some fellow researchers include the experiences from other female figures while discussing the concept of the mother complex like grandmothers, aunties and female figures but that we shall assign it a more broader terms The Maternal Complex.

Whether the step-mother shall be included here is a question that I personally beg to be taught.

Carl Jung on the Mother Complex. 

Carl Jung introduced the concept of complexes prioritizing the Mother complex in his studies.

According to Jung, the mother complex showed up both in sons and daughters Infact the male’s anima (Female psyche) was first tied to the mother complex before other females came to play a role in it.

The image of the mother might appear as a figure of adoration or a witch.

The figure of adoration comes from experiences with a nurturing mother representing love, protection or emotional security.

A devouring maternal figure ie; the controlling, dismissive and overprotective mother figure leads to a life-long pattern of dependency, resentment or stifle independence.

The mother complex effect on sons and daughters.

According to jung, the effect of mother complex in sons does not appear in pure form unlike in daughters where it’s clear and uncomplicated.

In sons, it might appear as Don-juanism, Homosexuality or sometimes impotence.

An idealized image of the maternal figure might see one project this image to his female partners. The son might also struggle with intimacy or have issues with female authority.

A negative complex can also have an effect on the personality of an individual leading to either a tough and ambitious spirit to prove independence or a “passive-aggressive” spirit that may lead to avoidance of conflicts and lack of boundaries.

In daughters, it might lead to an over development of feminine instincts indirectly caused by the mother (hypertrophy) hence sacrificing their own identity for the sake of their partners or children or weakening of them to a point of complex extinction. (atrophy) hence resistance to feminine roles like marriage or child birth. Ie; “Nothing like mother “.

The emotional hot and cold blowing styles from the mother might also lead to development of either anxious (clingy) or avoidant (distant) styles of relating to others not only in romantic relationships but also platonic ones.

Abandonment and neglect from the mother might see an individual turn against oneself by abandoning or neglecting themselves.

Introjected voices still shape much of our voices leading to behaviours such as Hyperfectionism, workaholism and Hypervigilancy.

Their voices shaped our perception for instance; the way our mother (and her own mother) spoke about her body as well as our bodies became how we feel about our own. Negative judgements and comments led to body Image issues.

Negative and chronic comparison might see us measuring up to others leading to self-shaming.

Inability to trust other women later in life. In daughters, it might show up as Being competitive towards other women.

We unconciously make decisions to please the mother even in their absence.

The experiences with the mother might lead us to believe that we’re only worthy/ lovable or valid if we are playing a role. Ie; caretaker, the achiever, thhe rescuer, the fixer, the pleaser or peacemaker.

It might lead to procrastination or self sabotage as a mean to stay small or acceptable to the role we feel we must play or gain sympathy.

Lack of self trust leading to overdependency on others for advice, valuation, worthiness etc.

We also seek partners who are similar to our mothers. The familliar feels safe.

Overcoming the Mother Complex

The first step to overcome any psychological complex is awareness or in what Carl Jung claimed; Making the Unconscious Conscious. When the unconscious patterns are brought into awareness, they will no longer direct behaviour from the background.

Awareness involves Self-Reflection either through Journaling to uncover hidden patterns from childhood or mindfulness to notice it’s effect.

We also inoculate shadow work” to integrate unresolved emotions and hidden personalities might it be feminine or masculine traits.

One has to learn to reparent the Self by learning to provide for one’s own emotional needs rather than seeking a “surrogate mother” in a partner or learning to meet one’s own needs instead of self-abandoning..

Forgive the mother. She was a human being with her own unresolved trauma and inner child pain. Free the pain of her criticism by speaking words of encouragement, empowerment, and embodiment to both ourselves and other women. She was deeply struggling with her own self worth and could only give us the grace she had given herself. We’re allowed to grieve all they could not give us and accept our anger around it. Transmute her survival mode and shamelessly call in abundance, cooperation, and self trust. The only liberation we have is mothering ourselves.