“You ever had a friend who kept selecting or attracting wrong romantic partners again and again?”
This tendency to repeat a sabotaging behaviour or repeating traumatic experiences again and again is what is called Repetitive Compulsion.
This may be through;
1. Re-enacting the Events or Behaviours.
2. Attracting similar situations by recreating similar dynamics.
Repetitive Compulsion as a defense mechanism.Â
Sigmund Freud had proposed two powerful unconcious forces that govern human nature ie; Eros and Thanatos. Thanatos is a death instincts that he claimed, makes people to unconsciously seek out self-harm. One mean through which this is achieved is Repetitive Compulsion. We repeat patterns of behaviours or experiences that were distressing or difficult in earlier life.
Kind of recreating echos of past experiences.
Examples of Repetition Compulsion in action.
1. When we repeat relationship dynamics again and again. For instance; A woman who is always attracted to partners who are abusive, emotional unavailable or need some fixing.
2. Repeating physical painful situations such as driving while intoxicated despite having been involved in an accident before over the same.
3. An ineffective routine.
4. Repeating painful emotions again and again. Some cognitive psychologist claim that people can become addicted to negative emotions such as Guilt or Resentment.
5. An individual who oftenly makes mistakes again and again. It’s a form of repetition Compulsion when your stuck in a loop.
6. We can also recreate our childhood experiences in adulthood relationship for instance; An individual who grew up in a home where parents engaged in infidelity or cheating repeating the pattern by cheating on the partner or choosing to remain with a cheating partner as an unconcious way to relive the past painful experiences.
7. Childhood patterns also play out when we seek partners who mirror our parent’s traits. In therapy it’s common to hear of such phrases such as “I married my mother ” or “I got married to my Father”. We want to relive the past familiar experiences. The girl raised by a patriarchal father gets attracted to dominant partners, the boy raised by a critical mother gets attracted to critical women.
8. Negative self–destructive behaviours no matter how harmful they are eg; Prostanation, Avoidance or engaging in negative self-talk.
The key Drivers (Causes) of Repetitive Compulsion defense mechanism.
1. Repetitive Compulsion is an attempt to force or earn a different outcome in a situation that was once painful or distressing. We want to rewrite the painful history and undo the damage by recreation similar dynamics to close the loops.
2. It’s an attempt to finish the unfinished assignment from the past. According to cognitive psychology, our brains hates any form of incomplete assignments or tasks.
3. We want to change the tables. We want to gain control over a situation that we were once helpless.
4. Sometimes Repetition Compulsion is driven by the need to avoid the anxiety that comes with the uncertainty associated with the unknown. As the saying goes; “Familliar feels safe even if it mean chaos”
5. Sometimes behaviours especially sabotaging ones once repeatedly acted out become habits that are automatic for instance; Prostanation.
6. Some studies link Personality traits such as Hyperfectionism and impulsivity as key drivers behind repetitive compulsion.
7. Repetitive Compulsion is also seem as an unconcious expression of repressed Traumas. This may be through engaging in self-destructive behaviours such as Unhealthy sexual behaviours or substance abuse.
Effects.
1. Repetitive Compulsion may lead to further harm and re-traumatization.
2. May hinder Personal Growth.
3. Doesn’t solve the original source or cause of the problem for the only way to solve the unconscious is by making it conscious (bringing it into awareness) as Carl Jung stated.
4. Destructive habits tend to disrupt our personal lives.
Regression vs Repetition Compulsion.
Both involve linking the present to the past by travelling back. But repetitive compulsion is achieved by recreating or reliving the past experiences unlike regression which involves borrowing behaviours, emotional reactions and thought patterns that are associated with an earlier stage of life to manage present conflicts or experiences.
It’s like repetitive compulsion say; “If I survived in the past then I will survive again” or “The only way out of this is recreating a similar dynamic” but regression on the other hand says; “If it worked in the past it might work again today”
Understand that in regression we’re not recreating or repeating past experiences but repeating the emotional reactions, thought patterns or behaviours associated with those past experiences.
How to Manage Repetitive Compulsion.
1. Mindfulness. Mindfulness is a great weapon for it helps us to enhance awareness and make conscious choices.
2. We can also engage in journaling as a self-reflective mechanism to write our thoughts and feelings uninterruptedly as an attempt to recognize the underlying unconcious motivation.
3. Therapy may also help us dig up our past experiences in attempt to identify the unconscious motivation behind our behaviours and choices.
As Carl Jung said;
“Unless you make the unconscious concious it will direct your life and you will call it fate“