Splitting – Splitting is a dichotomous way of managing conflicting thoughts, feelings and beliefs where people or events are viewed as either all good or all bad
Individuals divide perceptions of themselves, others or situations into extremes with no middle ground living no room for complexity. All or nothing, Black and white.
We humans have a tendency to split people, things, beliefs or situations into one or two extreme categories. The inability to hold conflicting thoughts, emotions or beliefs may see our minds unconciously split aspects from the others.
For instance; Romantic partner who see their partners as all perfect and good during the idealization stage before shifting to the devaluation stage where they only note their flaws. The individual fails to acknowledge the complex nature of all human beings – as not all perfect or imperfect but a mixture of the two. The flaws might be present from the very beginning of the relationship but couldn’t notice them due to the idealization he had of them as good.
The term splitting was first introduced by Ronald Fairbairn in his formulation of object relations theory in 1952 where an infant finds it hard to combine the fulfilling aspects of the parents (the good object) and their unsatisfying aspects into the same individuals, instead seeing the good and bad as separate.
We can hence state that splitting is a remnant of early cognition where kids perceived their environment as either good or bad.
Most kids who were raised in hostile environments that made them experience trauma such as physical abuse, neglect or inconsistent caregiving could see their caretakers as good in one moment and bad in the other. Integrating the conflicting aspects might feel overwhelming and lead to discomfort that arises from Cognitive Dissonance.
Hyppolyte Taine in 1878 described splitting as a splitting of the ego that involves the existence of two thoughts, wills, distinct actions simultaneously within an individual who is aware of one mind without the awareness of the other.
We’re unable to integrate mixed feelings or contradictory qualities into a cohesive whole. Now the world is divided into binaries eg; Heroes and villain, moral vs evil, Us vs them etc.
Examples include;.
1. Idealizing someone in one moment and devaluing them the next.
2. In religions, people are categorized into saints are dammed , behaviours are categorized as Moral or evil. People who don’t share our beliefs are seen as outcasts.
3. Individuals who see failure as all bad even though it offers a chance to learn for it provides valuable feedback on what needs improvement. Also the inability to entertain the complex outcomes that may arise from trying out a venture ie; Success and failure might make one to repress one aspect to the unconscious. The individual with low self-worth always expects failure, to lose.
4. People view themselves as either all good or too inadequate. Too unworthy or special depending on the feedback they get from the external world.
5. Children idealize their parents in childhood only to start devaluing them later in adolescents and adulthood remembering all the bad things they did to them.
6. The belief that an argument must either have a winner or loser. No middle ground.
7. Young children introjects their parents criticism and abusive words as true. It’s difficult for the young children to entertain the idea that their parents are imperfect or have unresolved issues.
8. The conflicting aspects of an individual’s personality might see one lean on one extreme for instance; Too inferior or Too superior. Those with superiority complex are characterized by some levels of grandiosity. Psychologist Alfred Adler once stated that the goal of every adult being is Superiority to compensate for the inferiority incurred in childhood. Those who encounter failure however are trapped in the lower bucket of self-critiscim
9.A leader is seen as too bad and later loved after quitting the seat. The same when someone is hated while alive but loved after death.
10. The young man raised by the mother and grew up idolizing and idealizing her come to see all women as all perfect. If the same young man had a bad relationship with the father, He probably might mistrust all male figures and even those in authority. But inside Trust and Mistrust there’s confidence.
11. The very idea of seeing people from the same len is a form of splitting. Where all people are all good or bad. Not appreciating the complex nature of human beings – some are good while some are bad.
12. The same can be seen in our own traits where we’re either too dependent or independent,, too giving or receiving,, too inner directed or outer directed,, too empathetic or narcissistic, too feminine or masculine,, too careful or reckless.
13. In social behaviours, A public figure may face the cancel culture where the crowd and fans who adored him certainly start to resent him after a single mistake.
14. Our inability to embrace both our flaws and superior traits is also a form of splitting. One views oneself from a lens of lack ie; either too perfect (lacking flows) or too imperfect (Lacking superior traits).
15. The world may also viewed from either a too Persimmistic or optimistic len. From lack or abundance.
16. Personalizers who see every action or everything said as a reaction to them might actually be displaying this form of defense mechanism.When someone personalizes, they are often splitting a situation into an extreme, ego-centric, “all-about-me” scenario. For example, if a friend is quiet, someone who “personalizes” might immediately assume, “They are mad at me,” splitting the friend’s behavior into “all bad/rejecting” rather than considering other possibilities.
Carl jung introduced the idea of the shadow where the rejected part of our personalities are hidden. They’re still a part of us part are hidden. This might be our fears, desires and weaknesses.
Jung advocated for the need to integrate the conflicting aspects of our personalities.
The idea of splitting may lead to conflicting desires for instance; In a situation where there are conflicting outcomes.
A desire for intimacy vs Fear of Rejection.
A desire for praise vs Fear of Criticism.
The inability to entertain the mixed outcomes may see one sabotage his effort or even disappointed when the un expected negative happens.
Effects of Splitting;
1. Splitting may help people to preserve a sense of moral certainty and identity when facing complex issues.
2. It helps one maintain a sense of Predictability.
3. May help in emotional regulation especially when ambivalence might cause Cognitive Dissonance.
4. May hinder the formation of a stable sense of self especially when one views themselves as worthless in one moment and too special in the other depending on external feedbacks and triggers such as failure and success/ Acceptance and rejection/ Approval and criticism.