Altruism is a moral regard for others. It kind of showing interest in the welfare of others.
Altruism as a defense mechanism.
But here we are talking about altruism not just as actions but Defense Mechanism.
Altruism Defense Mechanism is where feelings of discomfort, repressed wishes and conflicts in an individual are managed by helping others.
It may be seen as a way of prioritizing others’ needs and desires to manage the discomfort within by focusing our focus from these inner conflicts and redirecting them to others. The discomfort doesn’t necessary has to arise from within but also might be external. We shift attention from distressing aspects of our lives by helping others.
Altruism is also adopted in situations where we can’t enjoy the pleasure of fulfilling our own instinctual impulses. The pleasure is hence experienced vicariously through other’s success or wish fulfillment.
In George Valiant’s words, through altruism we get pleasure by giving to to others what we ourselves would love to receive.
Jerome Blackman, A great sage indeed, named it as “Identification with the victim” where one ignores his/her own dependency or unattainable urges and projects the needs or unacceptable wishes to a Recipient.
Here we find two other defense mechanism that drive Altruism;
1. Projection; We project our own needs onto others. Kind of “I don’t have them. you do thingy” . Especially when having those wishes are deemed to be dangerous or selfish.
2. Identification; The individual now identifies with the Victim that through the fulfilment the recipient gets, he/she may be able to vicariously enjoy and find pleasure.
This type of altruism is what Anna Freud referred to as Altruistic Surrender – One lives vicariously through other’s success to avoid confronting one’s own desires and urges.
Altruism is also used when trying to fulfill an unfulfilled wish through others for instance;
A parent who had desires and dreams to go to the University and take on a high paying career job requires his children to live out and fullfil the dreams they couldn’t themselves by educating them to University and asking them to take a certain career for instance; A teacher. The parent basks in a reflected glory if the child achieves it.
This however can be a breading ground for control and disappointment. It risks to deviate the child in question from his/her own authentic and genuine interests.
In Carl Jung’s words;
“Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.”
Similarly, an individual who had great ambitions that stalled supporting those who are already in the field. For instance; An individual who had ambitions to become a musician growing up repress those desires and starts supporting other musicians.
Negative impulses such as Jealousy can be transformed into acts of altruism and here we find the interlink between Reaction formation and Altruism.
Altruism can also act as a shield from uncomfortable feelings of inadequacy or dependency.
By dedicating our lives to a cause of helping others, we appear to be significant. By helping, We feel needed not in need. Unconsciously however, we might be doing it to earn approval or recognition which is a form of dependency.
When we project them on others, we avoid the discomfort that would otherwise be possible had we acknowledged them in ourselves.
Uncomfortable feelings of Guilt can also be unconciously alleviated through altruism for instance;
•A wealthy person or a Politician who feels guilty over his wealth donating to Charity.
•An envious individual supports the very individual he’s envious of.
Narcissistic Altruistic Personality Disorder.
Another type of altruism also known as , Communal Narcissism and it goes like this;
Some times people appear to be extremely kind, self-sacrificing, morally superior or always helping not out of empathy but an unconcious desire for admiration, control or identity. Such people don’t help because you need help but because they want to be seen as helpful.
We can see this in people who help others while taking photos to be ‘seen’.
This kind of altruism comes with a hidden motive oftenly an unconcious impulse or desire eg; for control, recognition etc.
Genuine Altruism vs Fake Altruism.
In Genuine Altruism, one gives help freely with no strings attached, respecting boundaries without seeking power and control.
In fake altruism however, there’s a hidden debt created that boundaries may feel like a betrayal, help might be withdrawn as punishment and kindness is conditional.
The perfect example of the later can be seen in narcissistic parents who try to guilt their children for asserting their autonomy with the “After all i did for you?”
While Altruism is considered to be a mature defense, it can be dangerous when played to an extreme. When we prioritize other’s needs to an extend of neglecting our own. Sometimes it can lead to a cycle of obligations creation,Control and a need to dominate.